\”Are you the vet?\” – Her voice was panicked, words blurring one into the next, I could hear her breath fast and ragged through the phone – \”Me dogs collapsed, and he\’s foamin\’ at the mouth, he\’s paddlin his legs like crazy, and I think he\’s gunna die!!!\”
\”OK,\” I said. \”The first thing you need to do is to take a few deep breaths, and come back to yourself – I can hear that you\’re really upset and stressed, and fair enough, too. Can you take a few deep breaths for me?\”
\”Alright doc, I can do that…\”
\”Now- tell me where you live, and I\’ll be there as soon as I can,\” I said, calmly and slowly.
\”I live out in Kelso, doc,\” she told me, voice thick with tears. \”But come quick, eh? I don\’t want to lose me old mate here, he\’s all I got!\”
I collected the address, and changed my course for the day, ringing the client I was supposed to go to next on the run, letting them know I had an emergency, finding my way through the streets of townsville, all shined and misted with veils of wet season rain. Cars splashing, lights shimmering off the road, the odd person on foot wrapped up in a raincoat. I moved from the more upmarket centre of town out to the edges, the houses becoming smaller, older, and shabbier as I went. Kelso was the rough end of the pineapple, socially speaking. I lived out there for a while, and the night was often broken with the squeal of tyres being smoked up, or the ragged, jagged sounds of people fighting, boozed up, edgy. I pulled into the driveway. A tiny brick house, and the yard was as neat as a pin, in stark contrast to the matted lawns and odd rusting car body in neighbouring yards.
I gathered my bag and my stethoscope, and dashed through the rain to her door.
\”G\’day doc!\” a smiling face greeted me, and ushered me in. She was an older lady, skinny, and had the rasping tones of a committed, heavy smoker. An old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, very fat, came over with a wag, and gave me a sniff. \”You\’d never guess there was anything wrong with the old bugger,\” she explained. \”About two minutes after I hung up the phone to you he came good, and hopped up. He was a bit funny for about 15 minutes though, not quite all there, if you know what I mean, and then he ate a whole bowl of food, which is a bit strange- normally he only picks at the biccies during the day, and had a drink, then he\’s just been snoozing. Do ya reckon he took a fit, or somethin?\”
\”What you\’ve told me happened is pretty classic for an epileptic fit,\” I explained, while I examined him. He was FAT! – and otherwise seemed quite ok, nothing out of the ordinary. \”I can\’t find anything wrong with him right now, except that he\’s very overweight. You hardly ever find anything wrong after a fit, either.\”
\”Oh! I was worried you were gonna tell me off for him being fat,\” she said. \”He looks at me with those big brown eyes, like he\’s so sad and hungry, and I just can\’t resist him, the evil bugger. But the fits – is he likely to have any more? Should he have medicine for it, or what?\”
\”Sometimes they only have one, and never have another,\” I explained. \”And sometimes they have regular fits, and very rarely they get worse and more regular. I tend not to medicate them if they are having a fit a month, and they\’re not too severe. The medication is a bit heavy duty, hard on the liver, and can make them pretty dopey as well. So we\’ll just see how he goes, and hope it\’s a once off, eh?\”
She sat back in her chair, and thought about it for a while. I watched her out of the corner of my eye while I typed up my notes.
\”Ok,\” she said. \”If he has another one I\’ll call you straight away. You\’re not going to make me put him on a diet, are you?\”
\”Oh yes, I am! No more biccies out all day, and smaller dinners, too, and less treats!\”
Her face screwed up in disbelief. \”He\’ll drive me bloody crazy!\” she said in disbelief. \”He\’s a bugger, he is, when he\’s hungry.\”
\”Well- I know you love your dog, and if you want him to live for longer, you have to get him a lot skinnier,\” I explained. \”He\’ll only drive you crazy for a month or two, then he\’ll get used to it. Do you think you can do it, or has he got you too well trained?\”
\”I\’ll give it a go,\” she told me, with a heavy sigh. \”Are you sure I have to though?\”
\”Absolutely sure!\”
I saw her make a decision, her face changed, got firmer. \”Right, you fat little bugger!\” she told him, wagging her finger. \”You heard the Doctor, you\’re a greedy little bastard, and I\’m not gunna be bossed around by you any more. I don\’t care how much you look at me either, we\’re gonna get you skinny!\” The dog gave her a wounded look, and I packed up and headed off into the pouring rain. I never saw her again, so the fit must have been a once off thing. I do hope he lost some weight though!