I helped two very deeply loved pets to the other side of life yesterday. I sat with couples; fragile, raw with grief, agonising over whether this was the best thing for their old friend. Tears fell like gentle summer rain. I sedated their old friends, and then gently, with reverence, slowly injected an overdose of anaesthetic, and sat with our hands all touching their old friend as they stretched themselves out of tired old bodies, back to the light. I breathed the energy of mother earth and father sky through my being, and held space to help their people set their old friends\’ spirits free, and to help their spirits transition out of their physical shells. It was sacred, powerful…
It was very touching for me, and got me to thinking about this aspect of being a vet. When I was driving home, the hills seemed so alive, so full of power. It\’s a powerful journey, death, one not well understood or honoured in our Western society. In fact, we are very afeared of death. Helping animals cross over is a very large part of a vets working life. It can be difficult! And I believe that this is one of the most important, sacred aspects of the work I do as a vet.
Certainly when I was a newly minted, inexperienced vet, I found it difficult. At that time I didn\’t have the spiritual understanding of what happens at the transition of death, and I found it challenging to face the strong, strong emotions of sadness and grief that losing a well loved pet naturally brings up. It was part of the job, so I just had to do the best I could, but I was quite emotionally disengaged. Why? I think it\’s because I am so sensitive to others feelings, that I had to disengage to be able to function at all in such a charged environment.
Over the years, as I have grown my intuitive sensitivity and skills, I have come to a place where I can be totally present with people as I guide their old friend to the other side. I use my healing and intuitive skills to help the spirit move out of the old, worn out, tired and suffering body, to set it free to go wherever that part of us that continues needs to go. Often it can take me a long time to help the owners let go, to untangle the connections, the energy threads that they have woven together over the years. The more people love their pets, the harder it can be for them to truly set them free in this process. If energy connections remain after your pet has died, then they \’hang around\’ – sometimes for years! I have had to untangle and help to move on pets that had died years before on some euthanasia visits. They were still there, stuck, because their owners simply couldn\’t face the pain of truly setting their old friends free to go back to the all that is.
It can be deeply healing for people when their pets pass over. Because our pets are so unconditional and pure in their love for us, they crack our hearts wide open when they go, often even far more than when losing people close to us. Many times I have seen clients finally grieve healthily for husbands or wives they have lost in the years before when their pets go. It\’s like the loss of a well loved pet strips away all sorts of pain we have been carrying around, unable to let go of. Their pet dies, and whoosh, they loosen up all this stuck, old, painful emotional energy with them when they go, so that we can heal, and move on.
I know that reincarnation happens. I have a dog, and a cat, who have come back to me in a fresh new body, to grace my life with their presence once again. How do I know? With our cat, Mr Patches, when he was a kitten sitting on my knee, I had such a strong vision of him in his previous body as a battle scarred old black tomcat. And Pearl is so like Tikka was, in subtle ways. But this process of life continuing is halted if the connections are not released, and this is not healthy.
How do you tell when it\’s time? There\’s no easy answer to this one, I\’m afraid. There are a few decision points that commonly mean it\’s time (but this is not true for everyone, as it\’s a totally personal choice, dependent on context, and how each person feels). If your old pet stops eating. If they become incontinent. If they can no longer get up and move about. If they are in severe, uncontrollable pain. And, most importantly, if you look at them, and simply know that it\’s time.
Often, it\’s a real grey zone, and old pets will fluctuate in their well being. I went to one old dog half a dozen times, all the visits being around discussing whether or not it was time. And I saw an old dog recently who was feeling awful, and has now perked up considerably with some treatment, and more intensive support. We were going to put him to sleep, yet he\’s still alive – and if not quite well, certainly happy enough to keep going for a while. There is a lot I can do to help old dogs – acupressure sessions, pain relief, supplements can all make a vast difference in an old pets quality of life.
Their quality of life is the key point, for me. If they are deaf, blind, have lost their sense of smell, are deeply senile, and are anxious and distressed all the time as a result, it\’s probably kinder to help them move on, gently, with honour and respect. At the same time, I respect peoples wishes if they would rather support their old friend to die naturally, with palliative care. We do this with our old humans, so I see no reason why we can\’t with our old pets. There are no rules here, it is an utterly personal choice, and I council and support people to find out what is best for them and their pet.
Often, I do have to get people to disconnect from their fear of loss, of grief, and to think about what truly is best for their pet, and to make sure that they are not keeping their old friend alive for themselves. It can be hard to do, when you love your pet more than anything else in the world, but it\’s important to be able to do so.
Being a home visit vet, I put pets to sleep in their homes. This is so much better for everyone. Your pet doesn\’t have the stress of being taken into a veterinary hospital, and you have the privacy of your home to grieve within.