A Saturday morning. I thought this locum was pretty bad, but this day proved to be the icing on the cake. I only had a week to go, and I was counting every minute of every day, hanging out to be getting back home to my friends, and away from this horrible boss, the rows and rows of faceless housing estate buildings, and the vile, filthy flat I was staying in. Sticky kitchen walls, and a stove that had never been cleaned. Ew!
I went out to invite my next two clients in. They were huddled around a small wicker basket, and seemed all crumpled up somehow, aching. I gently asked them to come in. They placed the basket on the table as if it was full of the most delicate crystal the world has ever known, and looked at me with helpless eyes. They looked exhausted, wrung out, at the end of their tether.
\”How can I help you?\” I asked. (I\’d looked at the records. They\’d been in with their cat nearly every day this week. It was an old cat, about 14.)
They seemed lost for words, and looked at each other for a long moment.
\”We were told to come back today, and see how our little girl is going, so\’s the medicines and all can be adjusted,\” She said. \”But she seems to be getting worse and worse. We\’ve been up with her all night the last two nights, giving her all the pills and things he prescribed – we got them all here, in case you need to change them.\” They looked at each other again, with a deep desperation. \”He told us we need to keep giving her the medicines, and they\’ll help, but she\’s hardly lifted her head these last 2 days, and she keeps looking at us as if she\’s suffering so…\”
\”Let me have a look at her,\” I said.
I ever so gently slid the basket over to my side of the consult bench, and looked in. I found a ragged little black bag of bones, trying her best to quietly die. Two dark pools of suffering looked up at me, and a tiny, rusty little meow of greeting was uttered from a pale mouth. There was a smell of urine, obviously she had been wetting herself, too. I went through the motions of examining her, though I could see that she was near the end, and needed nothing more than to be gently ushered from this life, with grace and compassion. As I did, a gentle little purr ever so faintly tickled my fingers. There was no way this cat was ever going to respond to any of the treatment the boss had been plying her with. Her kidneys were shot, her body was worn out. I felt a deep, burning anger in the pit of my belly that he had been getting these people to come back over and again, and was keeping this poor cat alive and suffering, just to make money out of her. I took a deep breath and turned back to the couple.
\”You know, I think it would be a perfectly reasonable choice to help this lovely old go to sleep, peacefully and easily. I don\’t think there is any more we can do to help her, and I can see that she\’s suffering.\”
The look of raw, naked relief on their faces was something to behold.
\”Really? Oh – that would be wonderful!\” Tears flooded her eyes as she replied, and her husband choked back a sob. \”We\’ve been wondering if that would be best all week, but the other vet kept telling us we had to give her the medicines, so we did. Thank you so much. Can we stay while you do it, please? Then we will bury her in our yard. She\’s been such a dear companion to us for so long.\”
\”Just let me find a nurse and get what I need, and I\’ll be right back,\” I told them.
My anger had grown into a simmering rage by this point, and when I opened the door into the clinic I had to pause for a moment and pull myself together. I was the only vet on duty, and thankfully the boss wasn\’t in, or I might have done and said things I would have regretted. The look on my face must have spoken volumes, as the vet nurse went a bit pale when she saw me. I told her what was going on, and she gathered all we needed. We went into the consult room, and prepared all that we needed.
\”I just need to gently pop her out on this towel,\” I explained. She was so light, hardly a handful of suffering to set down on the table. The vet nurse gently held up a vein, and we helped the couple get to a place around the table where they could gently touch her as she went. I slipped the needle into her vein as she gently purred, and slowly pushed the euthanasia solution into her bloodstream. She took one last deep breath and relaxed out of her body and away.
\”She\’s gone,\” I said, quietly. \”She was so, so ready to go, and you\’ve done the right thing to help her go peacefully and easily.\”
\”You\’re sure?\” She still seemed uncertain that they had done the right thing.
I silently cursed the boss, and reassured her that absolutely, yes, this was a kind, merciful choice, and absolutely the right thing to have done for their old friend. They looked at me with relief and grief mingled on their faces, and thanked me profusely. They wrapped up their old friend and walked out of my life. And yet they walk with me still, and telling this story still brings tears to my eyes.